Consulting | Coaching | Communicating

I’ve had multiple clients ask me this week how to handle mansplaining, so this blog is for them.

Many of us have been there. Someone explains something to us in a condescending way, assuming we don’t know what we’re talking about. When this behavior is a man explaining something to a woman (often unnecessarily or dismissively), it’s widely known as mansplaining.

While frustrating, it doesn’t have to derail your confidence. With the right mindset and strategies, you can handle mansplaining with grace and assertiveness, like the leader you are!

Understanding Mansplaining

Before diving into strategies, it’s important to understand what mansplaining actually is. Mansplaining isn’t just a man explaining something. It’s when the explanation is:

• Condescending or patronizing.
• Assumes a lack of knowledge (often inaccurately).
• Disregards your expertise or perspective.

For example, if you’re an engineer and someone insists on explaining basic math to you in a meeting, that’s a classic case of mansplaining. Recognizing the behavior is the first step to addressing it effectively.

Here’s a perfect example. This man is explaining how to swing a golf club to a professional golfer.

Why a Positive Attitude Matters

It’s tempting to react with annoyance, sarcasm, or even anger. While justified, leading with positivity can be more effective in the long run. A positive attitude allows you to:

• Keep your professionalism intact.
• Defuse tension instead of escalating it.
• Preserve your energy rather than wasting it on frustration.
• Create space for constructive dialogue and mutual respect.

Note that this doesn’t mean ignoring the behavior or minimizing its impact. Instead, choose responses that help you maintain control of the situation.

What to Say: Strategies for Handling Mansplaining Positively

1. Stay Calm and Centered

The first step is to take a breath and stay composed. Mansplaining often feels belittling, but responding in the heat of irritation may not serve you best. A calm demeanor communicates confidence and shows you are not easily rattled.

2. Acknowledge, Then Redirect

If someone is explaining something you already know, you can politely acknowledge their input and then steer the conversation back:

• “Thanks for pointing that out. I’m quite experienced with it, and here’s what I’ve found works best…”
• “You’re exactly right Jim, and to add to your comments….
• “That’s a good summary of the basics yes. To add, in my experience…”

This validates their contribution without dismissing it, while also asserting your own expertise.

3. Use Humor to Lighten the Moment

Humor can be a powerful tool for defusing tension. A lighthearted comment can signal that you recognize what’s happening without turning the moment into conflict. For instance:

• “I appreciate the crash course, but I could probably teach a class on this.”
• “You’ve clearly done your homework—so have I.”
• I can see you are VERY excited to share your knowledge about this topic Jim. Let me finish and I’m happy to give you the floor.

The key is to keep it playful, not cutting, which helps maintain a positive tone.

4. Ask Clarifying Questions

Turning the conversation into a dialogue rather than a monologue can shift the dynamic. Try asking questions like:

• “That’s interesting, although it seems like you are assuming I’m not familiar with the topic. I’m curious as to why?”
• “Could you tell me how that applies in my field?”

This not only redirects the conversation but also subtly highlights the assumptions underlying the mansplaining.

5. Assert Yourself with Confidence

Sometimes positivity comes from being direct but kind. Clear, confident statements can shut down mansplaining without hostility:

• “I appreciate your input. I’ve worked on this for several years.” (Although tempting, leave out the “but” that would normally bridge this sentence.
• “I’ve got this covered, thanks.”

Assertiveness is different from aggressiveness. It simply communicates respect for yourself.

Pro tip: Get a free cheat sheet on the difference between assertive, aggressive, and passive behavior here.

6. Focus on Education and Growth

If the context allows, view the situation as an opportunity to educate. Some people don’t realize they are mansplaining. Gently pointing it out in private without embarrassment can create awareness. For example:

• “I understand you were trying to help, but I already knew that. It’s important to me that my expertise is recognized rather than undermined.”

This reframes the situation as a learning moment rather than a confrontation.

Shifting Your Mindset

Beyond practical responses, cultivating a mindset that protects your confidence is key. Here are a few reminders:

• You are the expert of your own experience. Someone else’s dismissive tone doesn’t diminish your knowledge or worth.
• Not every explanation is worth your energy. Pick your battles. If you want to engage on this one, these strategies should help. It’s ok to save your energy too.
• Respectful boundaries matter. You can correct someone firmly while still maintaining grace.

By seeing mansplaining as an opportunity to demonstrate your confidence, you turn a negative into a chance to shine.

Final Thoughts

Mansplaining is frustrating, but it doesn’t have to define your interactions. By approaching it with positivity, humor, calmness, and assertiveness, you not only protect your own peace of mind but also set a tone of mutual respect. Your knowledge and voice are valuable. Handling these situations with professionalism ensures that value shines through, no matter who is sitting across the table.